Tuesday, July 5, 2011

One of my favorite restaurants!

I love eating out, but, most of the time, I can’t afford to. My budget allows me to cook at home and only occasionally eat out. In such a large metropolitan area, finding the perfect dining spot can be grueling, time-consuming, and expensive work. Your corner bodega just doesn’t cut it. I play in the big leagues when it comes to all-purpose dining. The price has to be right. Each customer should be free to set their own atmosphere. The establishment needs to sell bags of ice. If you haven’t figured it out, I’m about to wax rhapsodic about 7-Eleven.

Where else can you get year-round outdoor dining, three square meals a day, and toilet paper? I’ve always had a soft spot in my gut for 7-Eleven. (Actually, I probably have a soft gut because of 7-Eleven.) No matter - it remains one of my favorite restaurants.

It is damn-near impossible to find a spot in NYC where I can get a buttered roll. Does anyone eat buttered rolls anymore? I want a buttered roll and a coffee either vanilla-flavored via the grinds, or via the sugar sludge that calls itself International Delight. I want to be able to get this buttered roll and coffee at any time of the day. I want to have the option of seeded or unseeded rolls, avec butter. I want there to be a bagel option for those extremely rare times I want a bagel. I want to be able to take my buttered roll and coffee outside and sit on the curb in the parking lot to eat it before I go on my merry way.

I want to be able to have outdoor dining, 365 days a year (a curb is made for sitting on, after all). The only dress requirements are: no shirt, no shoes, no service. During the winter months, be sure to bring your parka so you can enjoy al fresco hard boiled eggs and a Snapple, curbside.

A Slurpee was my air conditioning throughout childhood. There is no equal. All of those fancy iced drinks, smoothies, and other assorted frozen beverages will never win over the silky smooth texture of a Slurpee. Dr. Pepper must have creamed his pants when the Dr. Pepper Slurpee came out. Did you know that most Slurpees are kosher? I just Googled that, but believe me, it is true!

I want to eat a Truck Stopper and a Jolt at midnight, or 6am. I want to buy toilet paper with my vitamin water without walking all the way to the Rite-Aid, one block away. I want to buy smokes and a lottery ticket and a taquito. Those rubbery-looking hot dogs are merely a tool to galvanize your intestines. If you eat like a pansy all your life, you won’t survive in the jungle.

Most of these wants will remain unfulfilled. 7-Eleven doesn’t carry most of the products I adore. The NYC locations are hella different than the ones I knew in NJ. I relish my memories. I love you and I miss you Jolt (classic).

Note: I’ve officially added Slurpee to my PC dictionary.


  1. Ah, The Cherry Coke Slurpee. I once almost bought a machine to make them. What I really want is a cottom nady machine. A friend rented one for her Promotion and Tenure Party (yes) and it was incredible. (She's from NJ, like us). I wonder if you could leave the machine on and fill the whole universe with cotton candy.

  2. I would definitely get a cotton candy machine if I ever get a tenure-track position! What a great idea!